Letter to Miles #

Oh my sweet boy,

Your birthday is coming up, and I can't help but let my thoughts fixate on what our life should look like today.

I imagine that you would be running around getting into tons of trouble. Your Grandma Julie loved to remind me how your dad walked so early, at like 9 months or something crazy. This thought scared me, only because I was in no hurry for you to grow up, I knew you'd do what you we're made to do in your own time.

I imagine your still working on finding your voice. Only instead of little shrieks and screams, you'd be practicing saying "mama" and "dada". I'll never forget how the day before you passed, your auntie and I took you to Walmart and your cute little squeals got everyone's attention, and we joked about what a chatty kid you'd grow to be.

Instead of planning a day of memory, I'd be planning your first birthday party. Even when you were only like three months old, I remember thinking how perfect your birthday would fall on a Saturday, what a perfect day for a party. I had already started a Pinterest board and everything. Your dad and I should be picking out gifts and buying decorations, not trying to decide how to honor you.

As your birthday approaches, I promise my best to remember you, and how much joy your birth on February 10th 2018 brought us. It was, and will forever be, my favorite day. So as sad as I am that I have to celebrate it without you, I promise Miles that I will do my best to remember you in all your glory.

Happy almost birthday, love Mommy.